Okay, you've got me. When it comes down to basics, I'm just a normal, red-blooded American boy and what I really want to eat, God help me, is the best steak known to man. And a nice salad with beautiful tomatoes and blue cheese dressing wouldn't hurt to start. Oh, and I'd like to see the most comprehensive wine list in New York, if you please.
There are plenty of steakhouses in the world. There are plenty of steakhouses in New York City for that matter. But there is only one Sparks. There's nothing complicated about this restaurant. They don't do anything fancy. But what they do, they do superbly.
I never liked sirloin as a cut, but what the sirloin they serve at Sparks is sirloin from another dimension -- from the platonic-form-of-meat dimension. Same way with the salad. The house salad with lettuce and tomato is perfection; pay extra for the blue cheese in your dressing, it's worth it. And you can select the wine from a list that makes grown oenophiles swoon. The restaurant itself is the perfect male paradise, complete with warm lighting, comfortable seats and smart, professional service. The bar isn't filled with the smell of cigar smoke anymore, now that NYC has banned tobacco, but testosterone levels are through the roof. Still, I have yet to be there with a woman who didn't love it -- this is one classy, professional, serious steakhouse.
Back in the 1980's Sparks found itself in the news when Paul Castellano, the capo of the Gambino crime family got himself whacked in front of the restaurant, courtesy of John Gotti. In most cities this would not be considered good publicity, but this is New York and immediately business got even better than it had been. Personally I dismiss the Mafia connection, this fiction that Sparks gets the best cuts of meat -- or else. They just have a directly line to the Steak God, that's all.
Lobsters and other things are on the menu, too, at prices pretty much in line with other good New York -- click this LINK to go see for yourself. Or better yet, check it out in person. They've told me that they don't care what you want to wear, as long as you're serious about dining. Better verify this when you make the reservation, which is both necessary and meaningless -- though the place is vast, there's usually a wait anyway.
UPDATE CAVEAT: Part of what makes Sparks my favorite restaurant is the odd and wonderful experience of actually having not only a steak that tastes great but one that actually is almost more than I can eat... in other words a totally satisfying and sating experience. A couple times last year, however, instead of a large and beautiful sirloin two or three inches high, I've gotten large and beautiful sirloins an inch or so high. While these are the same wonderful steaks, they definitely left me wanting more -- perhaps because I've already been spoiled.
Happily I've been back several times since then and the steak size is back up to gargantuan. I trust it will stay that way -- or maybe some butchers will end up sleeping wit da fishes.
